Sick

Sick again. 


And I'm not just talking about my damn throat,
which got swollen up again after two days of normal diet - which, of course, includes dessert.


Well, I'm not THAT sick.
But I would very much want to hide from all the work and people,
curl up in my blanket and pass time in dreams after dreams.


Oh, apart from the damn virus, despair and disappointment are also contagious, you know?
I just don't want to make people frown.


There are quite a lot of things I could say to myself, I suppose,
to cheer me up, to steer my mind and eyes from the unhappy scenes.


But I refrain myself from doing so. 


I just thought the pseudo-uplifting mood would distort me.


I could not pretend. 
I could not pretend that I understand.
I could not pretend that I trust.
I could not pretend that I don't see and think.




Well, there should be a line. You are right. 


The line is drawn.


If you want to reach me, reach me from the other side.